Keeping the dream alive.

I just reminded about this huge huge HUGE step of faith i took 2 years back...
hmm..prolly around february, march period..
when i first started in fmc..
:)
told my mum that i'm going to be attending church, crosslink, every saturday.
and the thing is..
my mum started off very anti-me being a christian..
but now she's much better.
:)
anyway..the thing was..
my mum wanted to know what church i was attending..
where was it at..
etc.
but i just kinda got out of my super backsliding period..
and i really didn't have any idea what kind of church FMC was..
i mean..besides the fact that Jun and Jing goes there..
then, i only knew the major churches like CHC, FCBC etc.
and my experience there was ok...but i think i'm not really suited there..
-shrugs-
anyway..the deal with my mum was that..
if she ever found anything that she didn't like about FMC,
i'll have to get my ass out.
without whining or arguements or anything...and she prolly won't let me go any other church for quite sometime after..
so..
basically, i had to guarantee that FMC was squeaky clean...and very very very good.
and...it's soo hard lar...
it's like this total horrible decision thingy..
where i have no idea if there's a plank of wood to support me if i choose to take that step forward..or will i plunge into darkness..
i mean...look at chc, fcbc...they aren't exactly without negative comments..
so how am i supposed to know anything about this small church next to muthu's curry?
and i was like...
fine..
if you find anything horribly bad about fmc..let me know...i'll leave..

and then..
i prayed.
man...i did i pray..
for fmc to live up to my mum's expectations..
you know when you disapprove of something..
expectations of it will just seem to rise a notch or two..
so that the chances of it not reaching your expectations will be higher..and then we can feel this satisfaction when we declare that it's not up to our standards etc.
so..
my mum went to ask around and stuff..
and fmc is all good.
as in...there weren't any horrible stuff being said about it..
:))))))
but then again...it might be because of it's small size la..
i don't know..
but yay!
till today...
fmc's good.
haha..
2 years and counting.
:)
and..my mum's better at letting me go to church for service and yf.
:))))
so..yay..
i have no idea what's the whole point of this rant..
but...the thought just struck me..
and
-shrugs-
:)