Keeping the dream alive.

MY O2 is perfectly fine.
hah.
me the silly cow didn't believe and went to kick a fuss.
:)

new year's tmr!
not much resolutions tho.
but 2005 was WOAH.
too much stuff happened.

ah wells.

:)

HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)
"He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven"
from the Collected Works of W.B. Yeats

If you lent a textbook out to someone..
you would expect it back in the same condition as what it was before right?
i thought that was basic stuff.
but Nooooo.
the only lab girl that i didn't have a fight to pick..
just gave me a reason to pick on her.
she scribbled in my book.
like in PENCIL (which i can erase)..
and in PEN.
like..
@!#&$^#&*(^#&
dammit man.
you should jolly well erase all stuff you wrote in MY book before returning it to me.
i hate it man..
and there were dog ears and stuff...
GARH.
feel like smacking her.

damm pissed.

in other news..
I SAW DAPH TODAY.
like after a gazillion years.
then we were talking about stuff and then these guys came to interview her and stuff..
and i miss her so much man.
:)

and.
i went back to work to retrieve the abovementioned book and stuff.
and managed to sell a packet of rice..and psycho-ed my kor to go lunch with me.
and.
got a free meal in return too.
he's so sweet.
:)
and we took a very weird photo of him smiling retardly.
and i finally saw a photo of his wifey!
k lar...
nothing impressive..but he's faithful and that's all that matters..
:)
and.
oh right.
we were having an intense discussion of boobs and what-nots during lunch which was really funny.
because our definitions of babes differ by Quite abit.
like.
WOAH.
Girls that he look at..i would not bother giving a 2nd glance.
haha.
he needs to bum around with me more often la..
:))
ah wells.

i need to go erase some scribbles on my book now.
@#&%$(@&^#@

who will walk with me.

Finally 21.
i think of all the presents i recieved yesterday..
the bestest one was from my mum.
it was this gold key pendant thingy..
which isn't really like the most modern piece of jewellery ever.
but it's the bestest because..my granddad, her dad..gave it to her when she was 21..
and now she gave it to me..
and so..
somehow..the link to my granddad became a tad bit stronger..
never really got to know him..
ah wells..
sentimental day..
-shrugs-

in other news..
i have bought my O2 Mini!!
WOOT.
with my own moolah.
:)))
so..i've got a new number and all.
so msn me!

Monday

YF chalet!! so nice..everyone was there..and james picked me up to send me over.
so niceee
:))
and then amos is sooo pro at bbq-ing.
and i had a beaut convo with ry..
and a beaut convo with jem..
so nice.
and then i went home and knocked out.

Tuesday

Shifted HOME.
damm tired.

Wednesday

i had a farewell party at work this lunch..and they catered food and everything..
and most of my mates were invited.
like the bengster kor and stuff..
kinda nice..
and jack made me pick 4 numbers for 4D..
haha..it was hilarous man..
the gig he did before each pick..
haha..
kor almost died controlling his laughter..
and luckily he didn't laugh out..cuz jack's his sup..
:))
oh..and the lab mates bought me a crumpler!!
WOOT!

It was the bestest most amazing party ever!
we had this whole uniform theme..
and ALMOST everyone showed up in uniform!!!
:)))
it was so happening!!
pictures will be up much much later..
got to collect them la..
:))


Thursday
My big boss bought me a birthday cake!
:)))
did the whole birthday song singing etc..
the works..
left with 3 slices for my 3 factory buds.
bengster kor, indian guy and china guy.
so cool.
then when bengster kor came and collect his cake from me..
he was happily singing 'happy birthday' at the top of his voice.
so pai-seh-ed..in a nice way..
haha
kinda touched :))
and oh.
he FINALLY bought breakfast for me!
like fried beehoon..and he was eating that too..
might not be like super ex..but i really appreciate it..
cuz like he has to save moolah for the family and stuff..
:))
oh..
and after i ran away from his overly enthu performance of the birthday song..
i saw him along the walkway..and was complaining about being pai-sehed.
when.
he sang the song AGAIN.
O__O
and then he air-kissed me.
O___O
which was really nothing..
but i was still stunn-ed
ha!!
he's sooo nice and sweet.
and i've been trying to sms m'sia.
but i've got no idea if i managed to get him.
ah wells.
shall ask him next week when i drop by for my barang.
:))
and then i shall jio him to lunch and air kiss him back!
BLEARGH.

went out with my lab mates for dinner that night.
seoul garden is damm ex sia.
either that or i haven't been there in eons.
-shrugs-
paid like 42 bucks..for 2..
gosh.
O___O
could have had a decent steak.
:(
ah wells.

Friday
Jing's BIRTHDAY!!
and..
my last day at work!
was kinda cool.
cuz everyone just decided to nua after my big boss took half day off to do her xmas shopping.
ladeeda.
and yay.

so i need to go stuff now..and this is a summary of the week.
:))

I wanna have a Back to School thingy.
:)))
Wear School Uniforms.
yeah!!

Birthday!
Coming!
Kinda!
Excited!
it's a week more to my 21st!
kinda cool.

yayness.

in other news.
the house is kinda reno-ed.
gotta spring clean abit tmr.

and there's a moth in the room now.
freakish.

managed to get Nougat-girl and Nougat-boy lost on the way over to my place.
Luckily smart me decided to walk out to search for them before they die circling the estate.
I know.
I died in circles here before.
:)

My feet are dead.
We walked for ages.
Jing and I.
bumped into Nick.
Walked some more.
Lazed at Sakae for ages and only ate 9 plates between us.
went to On Pedder and tried on fancy shoes that cost 3 digit figures.
Got the eyebrows plucked.
Got b'days almost settled.

Totally random stuff.
but i think snails are cool in a weird and slimey way.
and i think that they're cooler if they stay like a feet away from me.

that i'm really easy to pick a fight with.

there was once in sec 1 or 2..
she told me that i was noisy.
and i got pissed and declared cold war on her for a month.
and we really didn't speak for a month.
and yet it's amazing how we're still friends now.
:)
miracles do happen.

and.
thinking about it..
i reckon..
i get pissed real easily.
like.
i'm kinda tolerant towards friends and people that i like..
but if i buay tahan you.
that's it.
almost every little thing that you do will piss me off.
even if you're standing over at your corner breathing.

altho Thank God the number of people that i have an instant dislike to is lessening.
ah wells.
still doesn't stop people from getting on my nerves.

people who are DAO.
people who are RUDE.
people who are MOOD SWING-Y.
people who are SNOBS.
people who are SCREECHY.
and the list goes.
-shrugs-

YAY!
Jing's back.
Nick's back.
I've got my christmas present from Sybs.
I met my girls for drinks at Eskibar last night..and guzzled down 1 litre of beer.
saw Justin X at Eski too..
but he left as soon as he came in.
and that place was freezing.
the freezer room was damm cool tho.
bar top made of ice, stools made of ice, tables made of ice.
amazing stuff.

anyway...had dinner with Jia at Cha Cha Cha Mexican Restaurant..
the other 2 girls were late..as usual..
haha..
:))
and..
it was quite nice..considering the fact that i've got no idea what i ordered.

so..
shall post pictures soon..as soon as i download them
:)

anyways.
my bengster kor has a wisdom tooth growing and it's hurting him loads.
and i kinda action whacked him yesterday for not talking to me.
and he allowed me to draw a smiley face on his palm with a pen.
and he allowed me to draw a turtle on his palm with a permanent marker today.
and he drew on my palm today too.
:(
and i still haven't decided what to draw tmr.
and.
he's acting weird.
suddenly kinda nice.
-scary-
heh.
but maybe it's because he know's i'm leaving next week.
-shrugs-
:))
see lar..will only know my importance after i leave.
:)
gonna get him a HUGE christmas package present thingy.
with toys for the kids and sweets for the kids and chocolate with alcohol for him!
yayness.
it's time to give..
and the poor bugger is kinda kelian lar..
with his teeth hurting and stuff.
aiyo.
must draw something funny on his palm tmr.
and hopefully i won't get mine drawn in return.
:))

I reckon i'm living in a middle-class family.
middle-class bordering to the upper limit..to be exact.
I'm not ultra rich, such that i can always spend without thinking..
but i can afford to buy stuff impulsively once in a while without considering all factors.
The thing is.
i've always took it for granted..
because all my friends are like that.
that's how we are..
i really don't mind paying 20+bucks for a meal with a close friend..neither do i mind sweating it out at the hawker center for a 2bucks meal.
to me..it's always the company and the quality of the food.

recently, my lab girls have been commenting that i'm rich.
and i'm kinda irritated with it already.
i mean.
get over it.
it sounds kinda mean and stuff..
but i'm really sick of it.
i don't spend my money on branded stuff.
on perfumes, cosmetics, ipods.
i mean.
i do save.
and i should have a say on what stuff i wanna blow my cash on right?
i mean..
you take your cash and blow it on 2 $100++ pop concert..
that's your right..
but..don't complain that you're broke la..
and then when i say that i'm planning to get an O2 xda phone..
do not say that i'm rich.
i've been thinking about it for half a year..
and my phone is in a horrible condition.
and it's my 2nd phone..and i'll prolly not get any phones for like 4 years.
and when i comment that i would like to get a DSLR..
do not assume that i would be getting it immediately without any other considerations.
the DSLR is still under consideration.
when i mention that i enjoy wine drinking..
do not say...aiya...rich people wad..

grrrr.

if you don't wanna save your cash.
and choose to spend it on pop concerts, clothes, perfumes, cosmetics etc.
don't tell me that you're broke.
i sleep on my purchases to see if their viable or not.
I would rather make a few expensive but well thought thru purchases than a few expensive purchases that's currently hot or something.

That's the thing you see.
I can't stand that kind of talk.
So you see the figures in my bank statement.
but have you ever considered and thought about what your bank statement would be like if you didn't make that few reckless and worthless (to me at least) purchases?
This is me in the real world.
On a holiday, everything's different.
I've got a budget. and the aim is to use the cash in whatever way i want to.
Since it's of another currency, there's no point in saving it.
so..that's when i'll be a taitai shopper.

How come i don't get this shiet from my bengster kor?
I would think that he would be the one telling me all of that..
we are Worlds apart.
the gap is wide.
he gets 1k a month and has to feed his family.
i think that 1k a month is too little for a working adult, and i don't have to feed no one at the moment.
i reckon he hasn't been in a plane yet.
i've been on planes ever since i was 1.
He scrimps on his lunches.
I've never had to scrimp on food, unless it was because i had to save money to buy something i utterly couldn't live without, only to throw it aside after a few months.
And the thing is..
I would have taken such crap from him about me being rich and everything..
because he has a right to say that.
and i would agree with him..if he thinks that to pay $800+ for a handphone is too expensive.
and that i was spending money extravagantly.
to a person who works manual labour for a month to get his pay only to blow 80% of it on a phone, while he has a family to feed.
that's stupid.
and i agree.
that's why i don't mind treating him to lunch.
but his ego doesn't allow him to accept my treat.
:)
and that makes me look up to him even more.
i think i'm really treating him as a big brother.
and he would make a real cool brother.

isn't it funny how 2 persons from two different worlds can communicate together?
Call it an exchange programme if you will.
but it's a merging of cultures to me.
a breaking away from my bubble.

Monday was kinda cool.
besides the whole episode with the rashes on the face thingy.
met up with my twin for dinner and the works.
and i really really missed her.
haven't seen her for 6 months.
:(
was bumming around holland before meeting her.
and i've seriously missed that place.
all the little shops that i used to window shopped at.
even walking in cold storage brought back memories.
it's my favouritest bummable part of singapore.

had dinner at sushi tei.
and bummed around there for abit.
until we saw people waiting for seats.
:)
then we uprooted ourselves and shifted over to essential brews, which was surprisingly not crowded.
:)
oh.
and there's an eskibar at holland.
ladeeda.
and i love my twin.
for understanding what i mean even tho i haven't been able to express myself in words.
and that whenever we meet.
it was as if time stood still since the last time we saw each other till now.
nothing's changed.
we're cool.
i love my twin.
and i love my jing.
and i love everyone that i've neglected during this 6mths stint.
gosh.
i can't wait for it to end.

After 20years and 345days of existance..
i finally went to a polyclinic.
it was absolute chaos.
gosh.
Thank God for Lay Siang.
aiyooo..

anyway.
what really really happened was.
i met up with sybil after doing a round of shopping at bugis street.
we then moved to the clinque counter over at shaw.
and the clinque woman went on and on about the products.
kinda impressive tho.
was like attending a free class or something.
heh.
then sybs was shocked that i don't cleanse my face everyday.
neither do i apply moisturizer and stuff..
not much gunk gets on my face la.
:))
so..
we went over to the face shop.
and we got me some cleanser.
and then we had a wonderful dinner at pepperlunch.
sunday was amazing..
everyone was sooo nice to us.
it was like 'good service day' or something.
the clinque girl was nice
the faceshop girl was friendly
the pepperlunch uncle was funny.
ha!
i like!
then i got home..
cleansed my face.
smacked some of my mum's moisturizer and fell asleep.

come monday.
i was scratching my face the entire morning.
was kinda irritating.
then the girls thought that i wore blusher to work.
and i realised how serious the situation was.
took the day off and headed for the polyclinic.
i needed the MC and i thought can claim mar..
and.
it was an experience.
i waited and waited.
and i think more germs went into me than the germs that came out of me.
everyone was coughing and stuff.
aiyooo.
i want my family doctor.
:((
oh wells.
the medicine was really super cheap tho.
like $1.50 for a tube of cream.
and i've got 2 tubes.
:))

then..after thinking about it.
it's the bloody moisturizer that caused the entire outbreak la.
the stupid olay is too strong for me.
sigh..
oh wells.
:))

Asian, quiet, brooding.
Achiever, young.
Been practicing ever since young to achieve his current standing.
feels like he needs to prove to the world.
Music is his passion, his life.
A place where he's understood.
Seeking solace.
Him and his cello.



Caucasian, jovial, noisy.
At the peak of his career, old.
Has achieved and is now performing just for the heck of it.
Has nothing to prove to the world.
The world's at his feet.
Music was once his only passion, his life.
Now, he has moved on..
playing for entertainment.
His world no longer revolves around music.
Instead, it revolves around his family.
His wife, his kids, his grandchildren and his two dogs.
Music is a place where he runs to when he needs a time-out.
Eventually, home is where he'll go back to.
But it will always be there for him.
Him and his violin.



Went to a concert over at the Esplanade just now.
Pretty cool.
Saw two musicians.
Different in every way except for their passion for music.
Was creating their backgrounds in my head.
-shrugs-
:)
Nice.
and they are just scenarios running in my head.
fiction.
not fact.

Boss's giving me a week off.
the week after my b'day..
heh.
damm shiok.
which means that i end my internship a whole week earlier..
and..
i still get paid for the entire month.
woohoo.
super duper shiok.

and then the bengster kor and i are steady gam gam again.
maybe not super duper gam yet..
didn't really have time to talk to him today.
shall rectify the problem next week.
:)))

i strongly strongly dislike the factory woman.
damm asswipe.
backstabbing woman.
and she happily antagonized the entire lab.
smart move.
now it's our turn.

and.
the oldies at the company are damm cute.
the auntie thinks that i'm cute.
and i have super funny and cute convos with the oldies.
oldies = 50+
heh.

Is my pride more important or a friend?

that was the question that brandon posed to me.
damm screwed up lar.
figured that the bengster might be dao-ing me because of my incessant teasing about the horrible girl.
ah wells.
but he refused to tell me what's wrong..
and i can't apologize for something that i don't know right?
and how do i even start talking to him?
we haven't spoke to each other for a week.
i really want to get this shiet over and done with.
hate it.

He has his ego..
but i've got mine too...
and i think i did something wrong..
i just wanna know what's wrong..so that i can apologize and everything.
but like..if no one's telling me why..
how do i apologize and get it out of the way?

so should i continue dao-ing?
it's like just 29 more days before internship ends.

Funerals always make me sad.
My granduncle passed away today.
and the thing is..
due to the language barrier that we had..
the conversations we had were mostly peppered with nods..uh huh...ok...orh.
yup.
but looking at his picture in the frame over the coffin..
nostalgia struck me.
it's like..
mental images of him in the past just came flowing back.
everything about him...his voice...his face...his actions..everything..
and it overwhelms me.
and tho we were never that close..
i miss him.
really.