Keeping the dream alive.

This whole saga has been going on for long enough.
I've seek inputs and gave outputs for so long until i think everyone just wants me to shuddup.
and i'm still confused.
Tonight.
A friend told me something kinda interesting.
You see..crys made me take this quiz last night..and it was something about the gender of your brain..
i'm apparently 80% female and 20% male..which can be interpreted as i think much more with the heart than the brain.
and i guess that's true.

Jing and co. have given me ample reasons as to why it shouldn't go on.
but these reasons speak out only to the brain.
when the brain is in control..i see the reason.
but sometimes..the heart just overwhelms the brain.
this whole brain-heart struggle is very tedious..and i'm pissed.
anyway. i digress.
this friend said something that spoke to the heart.
something about giving and recieving wrong signals.
and that made sense to the heart side of me as well.
so.
that's good.

anyway.
that brings me to something else.
I'm pissed.
I'm pissed with this whole 'sending the wrong signal' thing.
Why are people do this?
Do you think second guessing every single action of others is FUN?
It's a bleeding nightmare i tell you.
Is this some sort of a game?

Apparently it means nothing to go around 'muak-ing' members of the opposite sex.
and.
to me..
that's obviously a very very very wrong signal la.
so just stop doing it if you know that your actions can be very easily misinterpreted for something else.
bah.
he did it. and he said he did it. so it's common. (btw, the two he's are different people)

gah.
I've decided for the good of all.
I shall refrain from mentioning him or me or whatever, from this moment on.
so.
kindly refrain from asking about him or mentioning him to me..lest you make me start updating you on the going ons.

I think i heard enough takes on all sides of the story.

I reckon i'll only whinge to JB about it now.
cuz JB knows all and yet knows nothing.
plus he's been listening to all my whinge-ing since i was 14.
and is able to tahan and say almost always the right things.
Currently, the advice that has been almost given by all is..
wait till he gets back.
-shrugs-
we'll see.

/edit:
I do know what i should do.
I really do know.
So...really appreciate it..
but don't really have to repeat yourselves anymore.
:)
I get your point.
But i still have to make peace within myself.
and that's something i can only do myself.
and.
I just have to whinge lar.
And I AM NOT INFATUATED.
i may SEEM to be in that state of mind.
But trust me..i'm not like that when i'm alone.
it's because i'm seeking advice and a whinge-ing ear, hence behaving like that.
so.
let me be.
and i'll let you know what the outcome is.