Keeping the dream alive.

Breakthrough Missions came to share during service today and once again i'm shown how minor and small my problems are.
As compared to what they're facing..well...it just really puts things into perspective.
ahh..
i've been mugging my arse off since saturday...which is ..yesterday..
really hard to get into the mugger mode, since the last time i mugged was well...last year..
O__o
and i'm mugging because...i'm going for a 3 day course from wed till fri..
which may seem fine..but there's an exam on fri..practical test and written.
O__o
and although it may seem abit kiasu to mug for a course that i haven't even attended..
well..they sent the course pack to like...4 months ago...and yours truly hasn't touched it yet until i had a panic attack on friday evening.
so...
here am i trying to mug.
in the course of my futile attempts at mugging...i've devoured...2 bags of chips..fruit tips (actually shared those with my kids..if not..i'll be inhaling 3 tubes instead of 1)..and errr...ovaltine...and loads of random rubbish...
besides these...i'm really not very focused i reckon..
i get distracted by 10 min naps..which easily turn to an hour's worth of sleep...and playing random nonsense games instead of watching the videos..(the course pack is a dvd with videos)
so..here i am...
at the middle of the 2nd chapter...having 3 more chapters to go...
and hoping that the rest of the chapters are short and sweet..

and my lousy dog is sleeping beside me..
gah.
i want to sleep too!

It finally hits me.
I'm going to be teaching tmr.
/runs around like a headless chicken.

the week has been relatively eventful with the boss being away and all.

two ulcers.

popped by to visit the newborn hairy nephew and chatterbox of a niece just now.
the niece still has talkative and the nephew..well..still hairy.
'twas good spending time with family.

i think i'm in a weird place now...weird but comfortable.
and i think i kinda like it.

I could sing of Your love forever.

I've started reading this ebook since Monday..
and i must say that i've been mightly challenged by it.

One of the chapters speak about 'loving thy neighbour', something which i've trying really hard, and not succeeding.

excerpt:

They do believe in God; they do indeed trust Christ as their Saviour, but
the love they hoped to feel consistently eludes them. What is the trouble?

The problem is not a light one. A real difficulty is involved, one
which may be stated in the form of a question: How can I love by commandment? Of
all the emotions of which the soul is capable, love is by far the freest, the
most unreasoning, the one least likely to spring up at the call of duty or
obligation, and surely the one that will not come at the command of another. No
law has ever been passed that can compel one moral being to love another, for by
the very nature of it love must be voluntary. No one can be coerced or
frightened into loving anyone. Love just does not come that way. So what are we
to do with our Lord's command to love God and our neighbor?

To find our way out of the shadows and into the cheerful sunlight we
need only to know that there are two kinds of love: the love of feeling and the
love of willing. The one lies in the emotions, the other in the will. Over the
one we may have little control. It comes and goes, rises and falls, flares up
and disappears as it chooses, and changes from hot to warm to cool and back to
warm again very much as does the weather. Such love was not in the mind of
Christ when He told His people to love God and each other. As well command a
butterfly to light on our shoulder as to attempt to command this whimsical kind
of affection to visit our hearts.

The love the Bible enjoins is not the love of feeling; it is the love
of willing, the willed tendency of the heart. (For these two happy phrases I am
indebted to another, a master of the inner life whose pen was only a short time
ago stilled by death.)

and something that struck me hard today was this sentence..

Be hard on yourself and easy on others. Carry your own cross but never lay one on the back of another.

It's just so much easier to view yourself as the goody-two-shoes, with an explanation for every nonsense behaviour, while every wrong that another makes is being condemmed.
it's just much easier to criticise others.

me thinks i'm liking Tozer's writings.